Last week’s rankings were an important course correction which make this weeks rankings — EVEN MORE POWERFUL. I think I have things very much dialed in here. With the exception of Coach Fischer and Sam Bradford’s mom, I don’t think anyone saw the 49ers loosing to the Rams. Remember, Steven has nothing to do with these. They and their inherent greatness are the property of Jeff alone — literally alone.

Rank Last Team Comments
1
2
Broncos
9-3 / Seven straight wins and the most complete team in NFL. Well deserved. Fix your kicker.
2
3
Patriots
9-3 / Those pesky Dolphins. All we expect of you is to beat them and that you did. Good enough.
3
4
Texans
11-1 / Now 11 wins & still dull. BIG test will be Patriots in what could be AFC Championship preview.
4
5
Falcons
11-1 / I don’t like to be fussy, but I am. Should have won by a lot more. C’mon Men!
5
1
49ers
8-3-1 / You got kapnicked (verb: to be sliced-up by Colin Kaepernick)
6
6
Ravens
9-3 / Ray Rice needs more than 12 touches if you expect to be a solid and balanced team.
7
9
Packers
8-4 / Jennings comes back and Nelson goes down. It’s always something with this team.
8
10
Colts
8-4 / Walk-off TD pass by Luck. Starting to get a swagger about you. This could be fun.
9
12
Seahawks

6-6 / NICE! Got the road win you needed… and in Chicago. Well done Mr. Wilson!

10
15
Redskins
6-6 / Thank-you for making one divisional race thrilling. Speaking of thrilling, how bout RG3 and AlMo?
11
7
Giants
7-5 / You have now lost 3-4 and are officially in a funk. Better pull out before too late.
12
8
Bears
8-4 / You guys bounce around the table more than a Ping-Pong ball. Loss of Urlacher will be huge.
13
16
Steelers
6-6 / The last two times Batch started two games in a season, team went to Super Bowl! Threepeat?
14
14
Buccaneers
6-6 / Not up to impossible task of defeating great Manning in his house. Muscle Hamster cramped up.
15
17
Bengals
7-5 / Enjoy run of soft teams to beat-up on. Will have to beat Ravens or Steelers to taste play-offs.
16
18
Rams
5-6-1 / Wish the Rams of my youth could have given the 49ers fits like you now do.
17
19
Cowboys
6-6 / Too bad that the injuries (whose name is legion) will keep you from going anywhere.
18
11
Saints
5-7 / Everyone has a bad day now and then. Brees decided to put a month of bad in a single game.
19
13
Vikings
6-6 / Overrated! So declared, but Mr. Ellis. Peterson deserves a win for all those yards.
20
23
Bills
4-7 / Fitzpatrick does his Tebow impression. Complete fewer than 10 passes and manage a win.
21
21
Dolphins
5-7 / I can’t remember a team this good despite lacking decent skill position players.
22
27
Jets
5-7 / Now that Ryan has put the Sanchize down like a wounded animal — let’s hope it’s for good.
23
20
Cardinals
4-8 / Lost amidst all the fun of rookie quarterbacks gone wild is Ryan Lindley. Not all good are they?
24
22
Lions
4-8 / Given the past decade. I’m ready to call last season the aberration and call this season normal.
25
25
Browns
4-8 / A winning streak! How cool. And some people thought you wouldn’t win any games (who me?)
26
24
Chargers
4-8 / Sad awkward girl at party is more fun than this team. Have you seen Norv lately? So depressing…
27
26
Titans
4-8 / On a lighter note: the Hurt Locker is a very good movie! Jake Locker — not so good.
28
31
Eagles
3-9 / What will Brown do for you coach Reid? Put anther final nail in your well sealed coffin.
29
28
Panthers
3-9 / Tragically bad team. I go all in with my curses. Handing KC a win is stooping low.
30
29
Jaguars
2-10 / MJD would make this team so much better. Not good, but better.
31
30
Raiders
3-9 / Losing to the Browns at home. WOW! Reaching deep into the realms of patheticness.
32
32
Chiefs
2-10 / Angry at your murdering teammate for making a hard season even harder to endure. Good W.